His Favorite OT Story

A teacher asked her students to draw a picture of their favorite Old Testament story, and as she moved around the class, she saw there were many wonderful drawings being done.

Then she came across Johnny who had drawn an old man driving what looked like a station wagon. In the back seat were two passengers, both apparently naked.

"It's a lovely picture," said the teacher, "but which story does it tell?"

Johnny seemed surprised at the question. "Doesn't it say in the Bible that God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden?"

Quotable Quotes


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. -- Shirley Temple

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. -- Doug Lars

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! -- Tom Lehrer

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking," and then I thought: What good would that do? -- Ronnie Shakes

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every 12 minutes one is interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. --Rod Serling

Somewhere on this globe, every 10 seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. --Sam Levenson (1911-1980)

Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. -- Ernie Kovacs

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours. -- H.L. Mencken

A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. -- G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet. -- Dave Barry

This isn't right. It isn't even wrong. -- Wolfgang Pauli, on a paper submitted by a physicist colleague

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. -- Joey Bishop

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. -- Franklin P. Jones

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now, blue-green meat, that's REALLY BAD for you. --Tommy Smothers

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. --Norm Crosby

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. -- Aaron Machado

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -- Henny Youngman

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. -- Jay Leno

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. -- Darrin Weinberg

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. -- Fran Lebowitz

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. -- H.L. Mencken

It ain't so much the things you don't know that get you in trouble. It's the things you know that just ain't so. --Artimus Ward, 1834-1867

Originally posted by Chess Fan:
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -- Henny Youngman

Originally posted by Petrosianic:

Quote:

Originally posted by Chess Fan:
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -- Henny Youngman

I said I wanted a second opinion. He said "Okay, you're ugly too."

Originally posted by Ken:
If you get kicked off for that one Inky, we'll start a petition to get you back. What would we do without you besides take ourselves far too seriously.