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#113793 - 07/01/06 06:00 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 10/17/03
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Inky, why do you only post "bawdy" types of jokes in this thread? I'm just curious, that's all.  Chess Fan
_________________________
**Everyone, please feel free to click on to, and, to read: -- "My End Times Blog" **
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#113794 - 07/03/06 06:02 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Member
Registered: 07/17/03
Loc: north carolina, u.s.
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Inky's jokes are always terrific. And eminently retellable, which I greatly appreciate.
And Chess Fan, let me tell you that I sent your "Husband 1.0" joke to friends, and they're still laughing. Thanks! :laff:
Here's one.
Two friends are driving down a dark road. All of a sudden the driver stops and says, "you know, I think my directional signal is shot. Get out and see if it is."
The friend gets out and stands behind the car. "You ready?" the driver asks.
"Yeah, I'm ready," the friend says, and positions himself to watch the signal.
"It works. It don't work. It works. It don't work. It works . . . "
_________________________
L'amor che move il sole e altre stelle.
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#113795 - 07/03/06 11:39 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 10/17/03
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Originally posted by mad hatter:
And Chess Fan, let me tell you that I sent your "Husband 1.0" joke to friends, and they're still laughing. Thanks! :laff:
Yeah, mad hatter, I really liked that one also! I am glad that you and your friends also enjoyed that joke! Chess Fan
_________________________
**Everyone, please feel free to click on to, and, to read: -- "My End Times Blog" **
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#113796 - 07/28/06 06:47 AM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 10/17/03
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Well, it has been a while now since we have had any new entries in this thread. So, with that being said, here is another "funny story" for everyone here : "Red Light Granny"
Her Letter..
Grandma writes,
The other day I went to the local Christian book store and saw a honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
On my way home I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in the thought about the Lord and how good He is. I didn't notice the light had changed.
It's a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus.
Why ?
Well, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out and screamed, "for the love of God, Go! Go!" What a cheerleader he was for Jesus.
Everyone started honking !
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. I saw one guy waving with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. So I leaned out and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing, even he was enjoying this religious experience right along with me.
A couple of people were so caught up in the joy they got out of their cars and started toward me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed...
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave after all the love we had shared.
So, I slowed my car down, leaned out my window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks !
_________________________
**Everyone, please feel free to click on to, and, to read: -- "My End Times Blog" **
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#113797 - 08/13/06 05:33 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 02/05/03
Loc: St. Croix, US Virgin Islands
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Originally posted by Chess Fan: Inky, why do you only post "bawdy" types of jokes in this thread?
I'm just curious, that's all. Because they're funny.  Here's another one. A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?" Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt. Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?" Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay" And he makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?" "Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle. As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."
_________________________
Ljubomir and Fabiano - my guys!
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#113798 - 08/13/06 07:30 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 10/17/03
Loc: Pennsylvania
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And, now, here is a really short joke for all of you who have "joke reading time constraints" : "The Will"
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:
"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."
The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."
The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you were wrong."
_________________________
**Everyone, please feel free to click on to, and, to read: -- "My End Times Blog" **
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#113799 - 08/13/06 07:39 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 02/05/03
Loc: St. Croix, US Virgin Islands
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:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff:
_________________________
Ljubomir and Fabiano - my guys!
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#113800 - 08/13/06 11:13 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 10/17/03
Loc: Pennsylvania
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Originally posted by inky:
:laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: :laff: Hey, inky, I'm really glad that you enjoyed that joke! Chess Fan
_________________________
**Everyone, please feel free to click on to, and, to read: -- "My End Times Blog" **
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#113801 - 08/24/06 01:56 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Member
Registered: 07/17/03
Loc: north carolina, u.s.
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Okay, perhaps this joke give both inky and cf a laugh.
A young bride was very nervous about her approaching wedding. She loved her fiance very much, but she was still fearful about marriage. To comfort herself, she decided to have a special biblical quotation on her wedding cake. So she told the caterer she wanted 1 John 4:18 on her cake ("There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.")
The day before the wedding the caterer called. Was she sure she wanted that verse? Oh, yes, she said, and she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise. The caterer agreed to do it, but didn't seem happy about it.
The wedding ceremony went like a dream. Then she came to the reception hall and saw her cake.
The verse was John 4:18:
"For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband."
_________________________
L'amor che move il sole e altre stelle.
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#113802 - 08/24/06 02:05 PM
Re: Sharing NEWS and LAUGHS Around the World
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Ninja
Registered: 12/08/04
Loc: Tucson, Arizona
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HA! Brilliant!
Ed Yetman, III
YetmanBrothers.com
_________________________
Ed Yetman, III
YetmanBrothers.com
"I will not be pushed, passed, isolated, blockaded, doubled, undoubled, or promoted!"--The Pawn.
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