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April 1, 2005
Kasparov Unretires
Saying "it is clear the chess world still needs me", Garry Kasparov today announced his return to professional chess. It remains to be seen if Kasparov can shake off the rust and be competitive again at his age.
Of course Kasparov's name hasn't been forgotten during his retirement, although he is now better known for his political activities and books. The chess world is very different from the way it was back in Kasparov's era. The game has moved on; will Kasparov be able to cope with the modern style?
He says yes: "It won't be easy, but I think I can come back to teach these young guys a thing or two. I didn't leave chess entirely and I watched the latest games. My skills and preparation will take some time to recover from retirement, and my physical condition isn't what it was back in my playing days. [His weight has ballooned from 180 to 183 pounds. -ed.] But I've missed the game so much that I just have to give it my best shot."
The precedents are unclear. Retiree Emanuel Lasker returned at the age of 66 after a nine year absence from serious play and had very credible results. Iceland's Bobby Fischer came back after 20 years to beat the semi-retired Boris Spassky. Simon and Garfunkel came back after 25 years and really sucked.
There are also new challenges for Kasparov to face. Players like Karjakin and Carlsen were just youngsters when Kasparov retired. Nakamura has joined the world elite. This new generation is unlikely to show much respect for Kasparov's gray hair. "Of course I've seen his games in the databases and he was great back in his day," said Hikaru Nakamura, "but it's hard to imagine him coming back to play after so long. Chess is much more sophisticated now."
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April already? =)
Posted by: Ein at April 1, 2005 08:48A funnier headline:
Greg Koster retires!
Posted by: keith at April 1, 2005 09:04Another April 1 Daily Dirt exclusive!
Posted by: CentrKentr at April 1, 2005 09:06chessbase.com was tricky today. Some people will presumably be fooled into believing that the article about banned draw offers in Sofia is a joke!
Posted by: acirce at April 1, 2005 09:19Nice try, Mig. April Fool's Day to you, too.
:-)
Posted by: Seth Homa at April 1, 2005 09:22You can joke around all you want about relative non-entities like Kasparov and Fischer, but do not, I repeat, DO NOT blaspheme the holy name(s) Simon and Garfunkel.
:)
Posted by: r at April 1, 2005 09:38I now note that FIDE has published their own April Fool's ...
"FIDE is publishing the bidding procedure details and the official regulations for the World Chess Championship Tournament, scheduled for October 2005." http://www.fide.com/news.asp?id=678
Posted by: acirce at April 1, 2005 09:52
I love the picture!
When asked wy he was returning, Kasparov said, "What the hell? Why not?"
-G
Posted by: Globular at April 1, 2005 10:42lame, very, very lame.
Posted by: Eaglesfan2 at April 1, 2005 11:24What??? Kasparov is returning to chess? I do not think people realize how huge this is. This is like Chopin deciding to write another of his famous symphonies, Rembrandt announcing the unveiling of an astonishing new sculpture, or George Bernard Shaw putting pen to paper once more and constructing a brilliant new murder mystery! This is the comeback story of the millennium! To those people who think Kasparov may have lost a step, I say balderdash! I for one think the period of Kasparov’s retirement will only serve to make him stronger. Mig, you speak as though Kasparov has been retired for decades. Good God! It has only been what, twenty-one days? I would not be at all surprised if Kasparov has secretly used that time to concoct an astounding series of new games and unique moves to dazzle the chess world and land it on its collective ear. I would not want to be his next opponent, I can tell you that much for free!
If this last month has taught me anything, it is always to expect the unexpected.
I for one was obviously devastated by the news of Kasparov’s retirement. Every night, as I sat for hours replaying and analyzing his old games, I would ask myself, how can the things that give meaning to our lives be so…finite? Why are people always trying to take away from us those things we love the most? Now, the universe is again filled with boundless possibilities. Thank goodness I can now end my twenty-one day hunger strike. And perhaps I no longer need force my wife to wear that latex Garry Kasparov mask to bed anymore. I feel like I have been granted a new lease on life. Thank you Garry Kasparov for making this poor man’s life richer than the greatest king. Thank you for giving my life meaning.
Or better yet, why not
MIGALO TO GARRY: "PLEASE LOVE ME"
And what the dillio with Simon and Garfunkel? Migalo should lay off the reductive musical bons mots (witness his pallid Clash and Nirvana references the day after GK's retirement) and stick to what he knows best: apologia.
Posted by: Clubfoot at April 1, 2005 12:02Did clubfoot ever had anything interesting to say? I guess i missed that post...
Posted by: Thomas Mørkøre at April 1, 2005 12:06Garry retired?!?!?! Is that an April Fool's Joke?!?!?
Posted by: Dale P. at April 1, 2005 12:41..This mad, mad, mad (chess)world..
-Kasparov unretires,
-FIDE call sponsors to bid for a FIDE WC 2005 and 8 players, whoever,to decide who is the WC,
-GM Ljuboevic will play in a correspondence chess World final,
-Fischer will play Benko in Serbia in a chess960 match for $3mill,
-Amber Kriegspiel Tournament with top-dogs underway,
-Interpol arrested Fischer in Amsterdam on his way to Sebia,
-Former chessplayer Wojtila is peacefully dying,
-Azmaiparashvili is playing in Dos Hermanas (SPAIN)
--
which one is true?
--
Happily the day is almost over..
That was cruel, evil, wicked and sarcastingly spiteful.
I LOVE IT! ;-)
Great AF
Posted by: Nick Brow at April 1, 2005 13:11"After trying unsuccesfully for several years to enter top notch politics, he decided to come back to chess, where his talents do shine. 'I thought I had a chance because of beeing chess world chambion and everything, but then I realized I was just another ambitious guy, with some money, some power and some recognition, trying to succeed in politics'".
After listenning to the BBC broadcast yesterday (http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/programmes/outlook.shtml), it seems they really don´t give him any chance in his new career. I hope they are wrong about it, but the BBC correspondant really did seem to know what she was talking about.
Posted by: santiago at April 1, 2005 13:19Clubfoot to world: "I've never really had a friend." You just can't get good trolls anymore.
As for Simon and Garfunkel's reunion tour, they sucked. It made me fondly recall the Styx reunion tour. Shudder.
And confessed Eagles fans aren't allowed to call anything else lame, ever. Nyah.
Posted by: Mig at April 1, 2005 14:10There is a point that April fools jokes are actually supposed to fool someone! You are supposed to at least get 3 or 4 paragraphs in before you realize it is BS. This one...
2nd word or so was enough. Anyway we can all hope.
Gosh, I didn't know there was an April Fool's rulebook I had to follow. Thanks for clearing that up, DP.
If you couldn't tell just from the title...
Posted by: Mig at April 1, 2005 14:44Mig, the second word is in the title....
Posted by: DP at April 1, 2005 16:07..and the answer is..
a.- No. (wishful thinking)
b.- Yes (sadly)
c.- No. (a cruel joke for the CC world)
d.- Yes. (OK, no)
e.- No. (no way)
f.- Maybe (in the near future).
g.- Yes. (sadly. The Pope played some novelties in earlier years)
h.- Yes (mocking the Spanish Chess Fed)
Yeah, Mig, you should have spent at least a week thinking about a scam that we would all buy and debate in this space, only to realize tomorrow reading another article that we were all fooled and then gleefully smile.
Why are some of you guys so uptight? Can't you just appreciate simple humor? If you don't like the jokes or they are not challenging enough for your super-developed IQ, mount up your own uptight guys site or go browse a university PhD guy's home page. I can recommend you this: www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html .
Man, even Clubfoot with his I-hate-Mig attitude (behind his real I-love-this-place mentality) strikes a good wise-ass answer every now and then. Do you guys need to complain about EVERYTHING posted on this site?
Posted by: Horacio Hernandez at April 1, 2005 17:08Horacio,
There are only two kinds of people in here. Those who complain. And those who complain about the complainers.
Posted by: greg koster at April 1, 2005 17:47So no-complainers don't exist?
Posted by: Horacio Hernandez at April 1, 2005 18:03Sorry that my small, meaningless comment which I typed in 7 seconds has caused such insult leading to an uproar among Mig devotees and has been responded to even by the great man himself. Having been scolded and whipped into line, from now on I'll be sticking to my usual "I love Mig and Kasparov." Guys I think you are the ones who could lighten up. Honestly, the joke was as good as any today and a good effort but it didn't even leave anyone in suspense. To be fair the Drexel Chess Team didn't do much better. The picture however is priceless. Has anyone seen anything good today or has April fool just become April 1?
Posted by: DP at April 1, 2005 18:38By the way has he really gained 3 pounds already?
Posted by: DP at April 1, 2005 18:40Can anyone do better on April 1? It's sort of cliché to try to surprise everyone because everyone is expecting it, isn't it?
Anyone read anything good today?
Posted by: Horacio Hernandez at April 1, 2005 22:29The Kriegspiel one on Chessbase was clever and skilfully done.
Posted by: acirce at April 2, 2005 04:19The F.I.D.E. rating list hoax posted to Chessbase had me slapping my thigh. I also nearly busted a gut laughing at the crafted reports of the pope being "near death". A tip of the fifth to all responsible parties.
Posted by: whiskeyrebel at April 2, 2005 07:32I was wondering how they pulled that kriegspiel thing off. It was well done on the other hand it wasn't a real knee slapper either.
Posted by: DP at April 2, 2005 16:39I hope chessbase explains some of the subtle references to different players' personalities through their kriegspiel games. Kramnik's draw and Shirov's "I thought I was completely winning" after "sacrificing" a Queen are obvious, but some of the other references are not as clear. Was Morozevich' opening supercrazy?
Posted by: Murali at April 3, 2005 05:56Ok, chessbase explained the prank and it looks like all of those were real kriegspiel games. I wish they explained how they matched games against players.
And anyone who thought that the banned draws in Sofia was a joke has not been following chess recently.
Posted by: Murali at April 3, 2005 18:27Kasparov retires at 2812.
Did someone notice that 2 + 8 + 1 + 2 = 13.
13 is Kaspy loved and mythical number...
:)
Posted by: Joel Jr. at April 4, 2005 09:26That's excellent! Garry is going to love that. Now comes the struggle with my conscience to admit that I didn't come up with it myself!
Posted by: Mig at April 4, 2005 09:48
